Late Night

Some nights were meant for writing. Last night was one of them.

School has ended, (I got A'a in all my classes, praise the Lord!) and I was free to do what I wanted with myself in the first time in forever. So I let my fingers sink down onto the keyboard and gave my imagination control. It felt so right. *sigh* so perfect.

Happily, something actually came of it. I opened my WIP and got some of those pesky notes my editor had written for me to look at. Mostly I worked on the ending of my book, the hard part. I scratched a bunch of yuck and replaced it with some (hopefully) better stuff.

Endings have always been hard for me to write. Maybe that is because I just don't want a good story to end. But then, who does? I want everything to end happily, but I don't want it to end. But all stories end, don't they? Or do they have too… Stop it plot bunnies! I have no time for you tonight.

Anyway, back to my story. The more I write on it, in it, about it, with it, the more I feel I am living in my story. Maybe someday someone else will pick up my story and feel the same way? I girl can dream, can't she? I think I am allowed a little dreaming. Especially on late nights.

And it looks like tonight might be a very late one.

––TTFN

So far… Progress?

My dream to publish seems further and further away with each day I put off editing my WIP. But every day I don't spend working on the book only pushes the day off even more.

What to do?

School comes first. School always comes first. Then my health (okay, so maybe this one should have come first). And last but far from least is work and social obligations.

What good will I be as a writer if I can't even stick a few years to something as impersonal as school work? Writing is an incredibly personal task. And I know I have many years ahead. So even if I am not working on my writing, I am working on my perseverance. And that is kinda the same thing.

My health, which, as I noted earlier, should have come first, bounces along with me in this uncertain life. But if I haven't my health then I can't write. I NEVER WANT TO BE IN A PLACE WHERE I AM UNABLE TO WRITE. Especially because of some dumb reason like I couldn't take care of myself now. Take that shower Rachael. Clear your mind (and maybe your room) of clutter. The book will be there tomorrow. Your sanity might not be.

Work. Yuck. Why does this one word in the English language have to be so spot on? I need money for, well, everything in life. Including food that I somehow turn into words that I somehow turn into a book. So I must work. And I must be well enough to work (see paragraph above).

Social obligations have been on the back burner for a long time now, I hardly get to spend time with my best friend or any friends for that matter. Many of them left me for colleges in different states, and next year I know I will have to take this leap, but man, I wish we could stay in touch better. I miss them lots. Maybe this should go into my mental health paragraph.

Speaking of health, it is past midnight here.

Happy writing everyone.

TTFN

NaNoWriMo

Ah, the wonderful month of November is upon us. So hard to believe that it was just one year ago today that my WIP, Halfblessed Halfbood, was just hatching out. I had completed the first chapter by now, day three. The first big reveal had happened and I honestly had no idea where it would go from there.

Okay, that is a lie. I knew what I wanted the ending to be. Basically. I am not a "panster" as some call those who don't plot out their ideas before writing. But I am not an over planer either. I find that once I get my characters well rounded in my head, they sort of take over from there. I don't like to tie them down with silly things like plot. If they want to randomly become a halfbood, I say go for it. For some odd reason, they seem to know much better than I do where this story is going. And for that I am eternally grateful.

But this year there is no NaNoWriMo for me. I promised myself I wouldn't start another book until I finished this one. I have homework coming out my ears anyway. No time this sweet November. Maybe next year.

A friend from work is writing for the first time this year so I promised to read her daily entries so that she would have motivation to keep writing. I do hope she makes it. I want her to experience the thrill as I have. The joy of realizing that there is so much more to life when you have written a book.

To all of those writing this year, best of luck!

–TTFN

Rewrite

My editor pointed out to me that one, quite critical scene, in my book needed a rewrite. After reader her comments I couldn't agree more. Hawk-eye and Mynnah grow closer and actually (finally!) admit they love each other. I guess being on the verge of dying makes them more honest.

But long story short I didn't really want to rewrite it. Not because I disagreed (see above) but the scene had so much emotion in it that I was just afraid to even reread it.

I spent many weeks thinking about what she had said and contemplating how I could change the ever important dialogue to match the characters personalities and situation. Well, those weeks turned into months. School started and I tried telling myself I would get to it as soon as I could actually think of a way to fix it.

As fate would have it, I was walking in our woods (we live on 7 archers) and the answer came to me as most answers do: when I am least expecting them. One of the reasons I love being a writer is because my mind will never stop surprising me.

So that very night I had a little writing session with my sister and sat down to write. It was just as painful as I anticipated. So. Many. Feels. But my characters again came through for me and when I put my fingers to the keys the words just flowed out. It is far from perfect, but now it is much, much better.

Here is one of the Quotes from Hawk-eye. He really knows how to make his words count:

––TTFN

Princess and the Dragon

I had to write a dialogue poem for my creative writing class. I don't write poems. Ever. So please feel free to dislike my attempt.

In the name of trying new things, I present my poem.

Princess and the Dragon

Princess Clarissa

Why am I here? I see no advantage.

The vacant halls whisper squalls of solitary air.

The silent chambers yearn for conversation.

Chairs sit fallow, fireplaces void of warmth.

Why am I here? I see no advantage.

Dragon Keeper

I keep you here. The reasons outnumber the stars.

The blank halls sing silent songs to you.

Soundless compartments are your charming companions.

Unused objects offer themselves to you.

I keep you here. The reasons outnumber the stars.

Princess Clarissa

Why must I stay? I see no advantage.

The nourishment is tasteless, your selection poor.

Stale, shallow food hesitates on my tongue.

The wine is corrupt and of insignificant variety.

Why must I stay? I see no advantage.

Dragon Keeper

I keep you here. The motives out number the sands.

Food flows as free as you can consume.

The simple sustenance sits sweetened in your mouth.

Delightful drink divulges your appetite.

I keep you here. The motives out number the sands.

Princess Clarissa

If stay I must, show me the advantage.

Outside I kept myriads to converse with.

Beyond the fortification breathes forth sunlight.

Exterior acreages hum out freedom in sonnets.

If stay I must, show me the advantage.

Dragon Keeper

I want you here. I cannot number the wishes.

Individuals divulge disagreeable stories without drive.

Entities can harm you past my safeguards so sufficient.

Ache also accompanies the world of freedom.

I want you here.

But go if you must.

Apologies

To all my readers I must offer some sort of explanation. I feel I owe you all at least some of the reasons why I have not been posting every Monday and Friday as planed. If I told you all the reasons we would be here a long time.

My reasons stem from my Leukemia. I may be "cancer free" but that doesn't mean I am chemo free. I have to take large doses of drugs and have painful shots daily and monthly. This month will be one year I have been on this plan and a year and a half since I started chemo all together. When will it all end? May 2015.

Until then, I must learn to juggle that, full time college, and two part time jobs.

I do not wish to give up my writing because it gives my life the least stress and allows me an outlet from this reality of confusion in which I live. There are so many days I wish I could just step into my stories and never come out again.

As you all know, I can't.

I don't want your pity, so please don't think of this as my sob story to the world. I would, however, appreciate your honest prayers that strength will be graced to me. If I can just make it through until Christmas, I know life will get easier.

Thank you all for listening. I will try to write as often as I can.

––Rachael

Character Profile: Eyan (Hawk-eye)

Yikes! How in the world did time pass so fast?! Sorry about the delay everyone. College life over came me for a while.

**this blog post contains slight spoiler alerts. But nothing that is not revealed in the first few chapters of the book**

So here is my Character Profile on Eyan, on of my favorite characters to write because of his backstory and personality. I searched far and wide before I found a picture that suited him just so. Turns out he is a character from one of the Finale Fantasy video games. My brother told me which one but I can't recall it at the moment. Feel free to comment below if you know.

So here he is: Eyan

Full name: Eyan Langton

Roll: Male Main Character (MMC)

Age: 21

Hight: 6'2"

Species: **Slight spoiler alert!** Halfblood

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Blue

Allegiance: to Lord Agron and Lady Elysium who are **another spoiler alert!** his aunt and uncle

Skills: Fighting, bow shooting, close combat knife fighting, and **last spoiler alert!** using his blessing to start fires with his hands